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I graduated from high school in ‘95, making this our class’s 10th year reunion. Every once in a while this summer, I’d wonder whether or not we’d be doing anything to celebrate—time was passing by awfully fast and nothing was happening. Sure, most of my close friends from school have moved a couple thousand miles away, but I thought it might be nice to catch up with some other people (especially since I’m a TV semi-celebrity now…).

I suppose it was bound to happen—someone would iron out a schedule with a few times and places we could get together. Upon picking up the mail this afternoon, I discovered that someone finally did. There’s just one problem: I got the notice today. The festivities start tomorrow. And I’ve already got plans for the entire weekend. Un-fuckin’-believable…

Today commemorates the 40th anniversary of my parents’ marriage and it was perilously close to being a non-event: if it weren’t for a little added pressure earlier this evening, the day’s only significance would have been their visiting the Rainbow Foods in Lakeville that opened today and eating samples of a wide variety of exotic foods that no one would ever buy unless they won the lottery. Or unless the grocers laced the mini-sausages with a little something special for their new customers… (more…)

I went to T.G.I. Friday’s tonight to have dinner with my mother. The host gave me a table with a good view of the front door so I’d see Mom when she showed up (since I was getting there early, I ordered for both of us and the food arrived at our table just as she sat down). However, that also led to my occasionally glancing up when I saw movement out of the corner of my eye.

Towards the end of the meal, I looked up and saw someone who looked like Steve (Amway Guy) walking in with… I don’t want to speculate who the other guy was. It might have been his sponsor, an unsuspecting victim or maybe Amway Guy was there with his grandfather so they could get plowed together. Regardless, I only had a few moments before they headed towards the bar, inconveniently hidden behind a wall.

Mom and I left about five minutes later and I was sooooo tempted to peek around the corner to see if it was him. What made me hesitate? I thought he might glance up, see me and change his facial expression…

“March of the Penguins” is in theaters now and I imagine the documentary is based on scientific theories to explain why it’ll walk 70 miles to knock up another penguin or waddle around with its young ‘uns huddled between its nonexistent legs (which essentially means they’re buried in its crotch). But why bother with scientific theories? Why not just ask the birds themselves?

“Excuse me, Mr. Penguin, why are you waddling around with your young ‘uns buried in your crotch? Is it to protect them from the elements?”
“No, I do it because it’s really frickin’ cold out and I’m trying to keep my nuts warm!”

If the Yahoo! Group wasn’t enough to satisfy your near-infinite hunger for nerdy communication, this better do it. If not, I’m sticking one of you with the job of training carrier pigeons