Welcome to Leap Day, an epic, exciting event that affects every entity in the entire world like nothing else! (Writing “effects” would have looked cooler, but the grammar police station is right near our house and they would have busted my eff-in’ ass in about three eff-in’ seconds.) Continue reading “You’re always open, right?”
Television doesn’t stop
Even if you’re trying to get the official nod from the Democrats to run for president in 2008. Continue reading “Television doesn’t stop”
One for you and one for me
I was at work yesterday (Feb. 14th, Valentines Day, Day of Tears and Lonely Misery, etc.). A couple minutes after I got there, one of the higher-ups was walking through the cubicle areas and handing out roses. To the women. From the boss. Continue reading “One for you and one for me”
My daily planner says it isn’t available
For those people who sell memberships to fitness clubs and other places that last for a specific length of time, please direct your attention to the nearest calendar:
If someone signs a contract that starts on January 30th and lasts for 13 months, the contract does not expire on February 30th.
Just needed to get that off my chest. I should probably get some other stuff off my chest to make sure I don’t develop man-boobs, but that can wait until March 1st…
Wow, look at the time…
My apologies for the recent lack of entries, but I picked up a new job that’ll probably last for a month or two. Why is that significant? Because it’s during the night shift. Suddenly, all that free time I had in the wee hours of the morning is being put to use for someone else’s benefit. Sure, it’s putting some money in my bank account, but what good does it do you? None whatsoever! And for that, you have my sincerest apologies.
I don’t want to blame it entirely on the hours, though—it’s a soul-sapping job. I get home and part of me says, “Let’s write something and make people smile and giggle and possibly urinate all over themselves with all the happiness and joy emanating from the computer screen!” And then the part of me that just walked into the door after many, many hours of work slaps me across the face and says, “You gotta be kidding me! You don’t have any creative juices left tonight! … This morning!”
So what am I left with? Guilt at not having written anything since the beginning of the month. You’d be amazed at how motivating things like shame and humiliation can be. Or maybe you already know, in which case you should probably write a new blog entry, too. In the meantime, I hope I managed to summon up enough juices for one ni—… morning. If you don’t think so, I can take some time off from work to write more. Just fill out your checks to “Shawn Bakken” and I’ll put that money in my bank account instead.
What’s in a name?
For those of you who haven’t done your Bible study recently (mine has consisted of a quick Google search to get the proper wording of something I vaguely remember from years past), here’s the Third Commandment: “Thou shalt not use the name of the Lord thy God in vain; for the Lord will not hold him guiltless who uses His name in vain.” I’m not sure why, but I started pondering the significance of said Commandment. So what’s in a name? More specifically, what’s in His name? Continue reading “What’s in a name?”

