Month: April 2008

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S5, Halftime Show

Jim definitely had an impressive makeover. You could still kinda recognize his eyes, nose and other facial features that weren’t previously covered with hair, but… well, they were covered with hair before, so what do you expect? (I noticed right away that he was wearing a baseball cap to help hide his shorter hair in back, which makes me wonder whether the producers told him he might have a “surprise” coming shortly after he left the mansion…)

Aside from that, it didn’t seem like there was much worth talking about. The eight minutes of additional footage that hadn’t already played in the regular episodes… yeah. Oh, and it looked like the name “DraculAmber” was more appropriate than I thought. I can only hope that my anticipation for the next episode will be more fulfilling than finally seeing this one after it aired last Tuesday.

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I now pronounce you…

This weekend was pretty crazy and definitely busy. There was a pizza party with games, hiking, dancing, brunch, soccer (I scored my fourth goal in almost four years!) and spending a bunch of quality time with friends and family. Oh yeah, and there was a wedding, too.

April 26th will now and forever commemorate the marriage between my little brother Justin Bakken and Molly Moilanen. Congratulations, guys. Love you both.

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Grade inflation

[My apologies for a lack of entry this week—I was getting a haircut and missed the episode. I’ll try to make up for it as soon as I can.]

I was in the waiting room at the doctor’s office yesterday and picked up a copy of Entertainment Weekly from the middle of March, which happened to be the same week as the premiere of Season 5 of Beauty and the Geek (sweet!). It was in the “must-see TV” section, so that’s good, right? Well, here’s the review:

“Remember when this stereotype-squashing series had heart, proving people were more than their appearances? Well, season 5 can’t be bothered with that mushy stuff. Now it’s beauties versus geeks in tired challenges like getting digits from people in a bar. The only redeeming part is Greg, the nebbishy ‘Gaysian’ outcast. Give Greg his own show!”

Man, it sounds like it’s going to be an complete debacle and make people across the world cry uncontrollably when they tune in, doesn’t it? Well, the reviewer gave the show a grade to show how debacle-ish it was going to be:

    B-

Sheesh. It’s like the show is going to a college where professors don’t want anyone to get any bad grades and make them feel bad about themselves…

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Yep, it’s a Friday

Trying to fight against the soul-sucking nature of my job today, my body went through the motions while my brain took a sharp turn and roamed the countryside, thinking up thoughts that needed to be written down and shared for those who might appreciate a bit of insanity that slips into the workday from time to time.
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If duct tape fixes everything, why won’t it get the crap off the wall that the last strip of duct tape left behind?

If wishes were fishes, imagine what kinds of animals hopes and dreams would be.

If Iceman got cocky, would people say he had a big pair of snowballs?

If someone tells you, “Talk to the hand!”, use sign language so it understands.

If advice can go in one ear and out the other, why can’t anyone else hear the voices in my head?

“You can do whatever you want.” I want to grow a third arm so I can count to 15 on my fingers. I can’t, so if I ever need to get to 12 or 13, I have to take off my shoes and socks and no one wants that.

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A pocketful of posies

I was at a friend’s wedding on Saturday and they were in the midst of “The Dollar Dance.” For those of you unfamiliar with the tradition, the bridal couple splits up and wedding attendees can pay a dollar to dance with one of them for a certain amount of time. If you don’t mind a slow dance that lasts for 45 seconds and costs you a buck, it’s a lot of fun. As for the newly-married couple, all those dollars help pay for… whatever. Maybe some tequila shots during their honeymoon in Mexico, I don’t know.

The reason I bring this up is because the best man (accepting money for the bride) was letting people dance way too long. Like, a minute or something. (Okay, fine, I wasn’t using a stopwatch to check, but he definitely needed to hurry things up—there was a pretty long line forming behind us.) If you’re in a similar situation and want to help out, I suggest you follow the example of my cousin, my little brother, his girlfriend and me:

We all handed the best man a dollar each. It’s only fair—one of them might have a strong tolerance for tequila. When it was our turn, we walked up as a group and did a little “Ring Around the Rosies” action while she spun around in the middle. Then we all squeezed in together for a bridal wrap—it would have been a bridal sandwich, but there were four of us surrounding her—and rocked around in a “slow dance” for about ten seconds. Then it was hugs for everyone and we left the dance floor, watching the rest of the line slowly creep forward, each person hoping that the DJ wouldn’t run out of slow music before they all got their turn.

Oh, and one final note for safety’s sake: if your friend is the bride and you’ve only met her new husband twice, you better leave the groom wrap to someone else. If not, the emotional trauma he suffers could lead to so many tequila shots that we all fall down.