Or, conversely, have a spiffy ol’ ChristmaHanukKwanzaakahs! Or, conversely again, for those who aren’t celebrating anything at this time of year, “Merrrrrry DAY!!” (Don’t say I never try to include everyone…)
Can you get kicked out of a movie theater…
For trying to slit your wrists? It may have been a more preferable option than sitting through the independent movie I watched on Monday night. A couple friends of mine were going (one of whom was involved with the film) and wanted me to join them. Even though the theater was about five miles away from my house, I was still a little hesitant. After all, “I don’t want to waste a couple hours of my life on a movie that sucks!”
They had two screenings, 6:30 and 8:30; I had to attend a Boy Scout meeting at 7:00, so I told the guy who was in it that I’d call him between the screenings and ask him if it was worth coming.
I gave him a ring at about 8:10 and he told me that the movie was… well, I don’t quite recall his answer (or maybe I’m editing it out since he was part of the film), but he made it sound like it was okay. Consequently, I jumped in the car, got to the theater and went inside. It was one of the worst mistakes of my life. Continue reading “Can you get kicked out of a movie theater…”
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A message for everyone’s birthday
Remember: age is a number, not a lifestyle. WHEEEEEE!!!
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Where’s the suggestion box?
If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all. If you can say something nice, be sure to mention it while you’re complaining about everything else.
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It does a body… neutral?
There’s been an ad on TV recently for Caltrate, a drug that provides more calcium to help strengthen your bones. Why should we take it?
“Our bodies can steal calcium from our bones.”
Which means our bodies are stealing calcium from… parts of our bodies. Shame on us all…
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Sinful statistics
Black Friday. The day after Thanksgiving. Clumping two deadly sins into a four-day weekend: gluttony (feasting on turkey, stuffing and football) followed by covetousness (trampling Wal-Mart employees to death to get our sinful hands on a $99 DVD player). Oh, and if you include Cyber Monday in the festivities, you can add another deadly sin into the mix: sloth (people too lazy to brave the shopping malls for those $99 DVD players). Ah, what a blessed holiday!
But that’s not what I wanted to focus on. I was watching the 10:00 news on Friday night and the newscaster said that sales on Black Friday were up 4% compared to last year. “Wow, maybe the recession isn’t so bad if people are still willing to blow wads of cash on unnecessary junk!” Then the newspaper arrived the next morning to alert its readers that sales on Black Friday were down this year. Obviously, it was looking at the state results versus the local TV news reporting national stats, but it made me wonder:
Which source reflects the media’s liberal bias?
Or maybe they were trying to make us all look like sinnier sinners by accusing us of covetousness and sloth at the same time: “You all wanted too much stuff, but you locals were too lazy to buy it!” Personally, I’m gonna stick with gluttony and start working on the leftovers that are packed into the fridge…
