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[Parody of “Winter Wonderland”… in case you couldn’t tell…]

Everywhere, it is snowing
Even worse, wind is blowing
Gotta get dressed
And clean up this mess
Shovelin’ in a winter blizzard-land

Don my coat and my mittens
Things get worse while I’m sittin’
It’s frigid outside
But man must abide
Shovelin’ in a winter blizzard-land

All the kids are happy ‘cause there’s no school
They’ll be romping ‘round the house all day
I walk through the front door with my steel tool
I know I have to make it go away

In the house, wife is sleeping
Through my clothes, sweat is seeping
My muscles are sore
But there’s plenty more
Shovelin’ in a winter blizzard-land

Maybe when I’m done, I’ll take a warm bath
Get myself all toasty through and through
Then I watch the sky and do some quick math:
In an hour, I’d start the job anew

Try to think, try to reason
It’s just part of the season
So mad I could spit
I’m just gonna quit
Shovelin’ in a winter blizzard-land

Shovelin’ in a winter blizzard-land
Shovelin’ in a winter blizzard-land

— SCB, Feb 27th, 2009

The Golden Rule states: “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.” If you’re a masochist, does that mean you’re morally obligated to hurt people?

My plan tonight was to go out and meet friends at Khan’s Mongolian Barbecue, one of my favoritest restaurants ever. Yummy, yummy food. However, there are two locations in the Twin Cities—Richfield and Roseville—and I accidentally went to the wrong one. Oops…

As it turned out, that wasn’t an entirely bad thing. I was wandering around inside the restaurant looking for said friends and suddenly heard, “SHAWN!” I looked down and saw Matthew Feeney sitting in a chair right in front of me. He stood up and gave me a hug, then offered me a fortune cookie that the waiter had brought. Hey, I wasn’t gonna turn down a free fortune…

It wasn’t until later that I found out I’d gone to the wrong restaurant, but that cookie made the mistake totally worthwhile. I opened the cookie, ate it, then took a look at the fortune inside. We were playing the “in bed” game, adding that to the ends of the fortunes, and this has to be the best I’ve ever seen:

You will be happiest if you please yourself first.

Last week, I was talking to one of my classmates who has a tendency to arrive a minute or two after the class officially starts. I complained that he has an extra cushion to show up since his last name starts with an S, whereas mine starts with B. (When your last name is Bakken, you’re always gonna be near the top of the list for roll call.) I decided it was time for a little equality, so I bet him a nickel that the professor would take attendance in reverse for the next class. Not only did he accept my bet, he said he’d give me a whole five pennies instead of a nickel. How could I turn that down? (more…)

Given the massive media coverage about Michael Phelps admitting that he took a bong hit at a party at the University of South Carolina, I just want to mention one thing:

It helps explain why he let Kellogg’s put his picture on a box of Rice Krispies Treats.