Dear Davy Jones: Please stay dead.

I Am A Zombie
(Parody of “I’m A Believer” by the Monkees)

I thought the living dead were only fairy tales
Good for terrifying kids in their sleep
Death was going to claim me
It would eventually
But then my worst fears came to be

I won’t rest in peace, now I am a zombie
There are no thoughts left in my mind
I’m undead, I am a zombie
I wanna eat brains all the time

I thought that death was supposed to be a final thing
When you passed away, that was the end
Then you’d get cremated
Or buried in the ground
When you were six feet under, you stayed down

I won’t rest in peace, now I am a zombie
There are no thoughts left in my mind
I’m undead, I am a zombie
I wanna eat brains all the time

Death was going to claim me
It would eventually
But then my worst fears came to be

I won’t rest in peace, now I am a zombie
There are no thoughts left in my mind
I’m undead, I am a zombie
I wanna eat brains all the time

No, I won’t rest in peace, now I am a zombie
There are no thoughts left in my mind
Yeah, I am… braaaaaaains…
(I am a zombie)
(I am a zombie)
Braaaaaaains…
(I am a zombie)
Braaaaaaains…
(I am a zombie)

Pro-contraception vs. anti-baby-killer

I read a frustrated status message on Facebook today from someone who was apologizing to his Catholic family members because he thinks their religion sucks. His reasoning focused on things like their stance against homosexuals, gay marriage, birth control, insurance (birth control bad, Viagra good), etc. In my mind, he had a lot of valid points.

(Incidentally, I’ve been typing fast and my fingers keep writing “birthday” instead of “birth”… the concept of “birthday control” is one that parents might want to consider when it comes to grandiose parties for their kids, but that’s beside the point.)

Then I read one of the responses to that status: “I am glad you are sorry for losing your faith. I am so proud of the Catholic Church’s stand on health care insurance coverage. Birth control is a contraception that can cause the killing of a baby. Many protestant churches are following. Amen.” Continue reading “Pro-contraception vs. anti-baby-killer”

“Dude, trivia tonight was nuts!”

Trivia at Green Mill in Lakeville runs from 9:00-11:00pm on Thursday nights. I have class on Thursday nights which can potentially run from 6:00-10:00pm. Given that my classmates and I tend to burn out before reaching the four hour mark, professors are generally gracious enough to cut things a little short, so with a 30-minute drive down to the restaurant (about two miles from home), I can usually be there by 10:00 or so. Plenty of time for food, drink and trivia.

Today was no exception: buffalo wings, root beer and trivia. There are four rounds of five questions and I got there in the middle of Round 3, which was all about nuts. I don’t remember what #1 was, #2 asked for another name for peanuts (legumes), and I sat down at the table in time to hear #3, which was the nut that’s used to make pesto (pine nuts).

Normally, the host uses a microphone to ask questions through the speaker system—I don’t know why it wasn’t working, but tonight, he had to walk around the restaurant supplying each table with the questions. Thus, before we heard #4, the guy sitting across from me said it’d be funny if one of us went to another table, listened to the question and came up with the answer before the host got to us.

So I did. Not the “listening to the question” part. I came up with the answer.

For no particular reason, when he said it’d be funny, I blurted out, “Macadamia!” Then the host got to our table and he posed a question along the lines of “the nut that was named after John Macadam, an Australian chemist, in 1957.” And I raised my hands in victory.

We did pretty well and came in second place, earning ourselves a $10 gift card to Green Mill, which I graciously accepted on behalf of our team. Getting “macadamia” right, getting the gift card and hearing a tie-breaker question made tonight awesome.

The tie-breaker question? “How many self-titled albums has Seal produced?”
The answer? Three.
The answer one team gave? Twenty three.

Like I said, that helped make tonight awesome, too.

Does the rule apply to blogs, too?

Last week, I went to Caribou Coffee with Marie and Michael “Porter” Porter. No one I know calls him Michael, just “Porter”. In my phone’s contact list, he’s listed as “Porter Porter”. But I digress. We got our orders (White chocolate hot cocoa rules!), sat down at a table and then Marie turned and saw the chalkboard. In big letters in the middle of the board, it presents customers an opportunity to share some random worldly knowledge:

Caribou Coffee's chalkboard

There were some interesting factoids written on there, though we’re still not sure how “50% of federal gvt debt being paid down with more debt” works. Paying for debt with more debt isn’t paying down anything, it’s just moving debt from one source to another. And adding some extra debt from the new source along the way. But I digress again.

Let William Shatner Eat Cake!

I’m not sure how many details I can provide at the moment—I just made a Facebook page about this and I’m feeling kinda burned out. The short version: William Shatner is coming to the Twin Cities to perform a show at the Orpheum Theater on March 15th (“Shatner’s World: We Just Live In It”). Marie Porter is a huge fan and also an excellent cake designer. Click on her name under “My special love-monkeys” and you’ll see what I’m talking about. Since he’s coming to the Cities, she wants to make a cake for him (she hasn’t decided on a design yet, but it probably won’t be a Klingon Warbird—wouldn’t want to freak out Captain Kirk when the cake arrives).

Making a Facebook page worked to get Betty White to host Saturday Night Live, so I decided to do the same thing and see if that helps the cause. Thus, the Let William Shatner Eat Cake page. If it works, I’ll write about it and post some pictures on here. If it doesn’t… wouldn’t be the first time I’ve wasted a couple hours on Facebook with nothing to show for it.