Author: Shawn

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Man, that looks like it hurts…

[Originally posted back on March 5th, 2006]

I’d like to take a moment to thank The Powers That Be for making me a sturdy person.

I was playing soccer this afternoon and collided with someone. More specifically, my kneecap collided with his. You could hear the *CRACK* from across the field (at least I assume so—given that I was involved in the accident, I only know it was loud). He fell to the turf. I stayed upright, watching the guy hold his knee and roll around in pain. He needed help getting off the field. I stood around and waited for the game to start up again. Continue reading “Man, that looks like it hurts…”

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I [BLANK]…

I guess this entry fits in with the solidarity theme since I posted it back in 2006, but it’s still a survey that I got off someone’s blog (versus a Myspace bulletin this time). Normally at this point, I’d say “Go, writers!” since I think they’ve got a right to be pissed off. However, I just finished watching The Tonight Show and it was really obnoxious when people in the audience were yelling random stuff that you couldn’t understand while Bill Maher was talking. So [BLANK] you, mother [BLANK]ers! And now, back to your regularly scheduled survey. Continue reading “I [BLANK]…”

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One Word

I was bored tonight and opted to avoid doing anything productive with my time by surfing around on the Internet. Trust me, after years of practice, I’ve become pretty damn good at avoiding it. I ended up checking out Myspace and found yet another bulletin with a bunch of survey questions. This time, I decided to take it. I also decided to post the results here on the blog because, hey, why the hell not? It gives you all a chance to peek into the mind of little ol’ me (assuming that I’m little and that it’s actually me who’s writing this) and you might decide to take the survey on your own.

Mind you, I didn’t want to make this completely serious. If I was completely serious, I could end up making both of us cry by the end of the entry. Consequently, I’m writing two versions: one that’s sincere and one that’s not so sincere. If you can’t tell the difference… I might be the only one crying at the end. Continue reading “One Word”

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Pre-Creation Creation

First, there was nothing. Then, there was this guy. He didn’t have a name. He decided a name would be good. He called Himself God. And if anyone mentions that He hadn’t created language yet, He will smite them by dropping a piano on their blaspheming heads. Since God was the only thing around, He decided to create something. Unlike the second version of the Creation, the first thing God created was Time. After all, what’s the point of making day and night, seasons or the Super Bowl if you’re trapped in the span of a micro-second? So God made Time and then created the first wristwatch so He wouldn’t miss “ER” on TV after work. Continue reading “Pre-Creation Creation”

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Solidarity!

As many of you know, there’s a writer’s strike going on in Hollywood. Well, maybe not many of you… maybe only a few of you… I’m sure there’s at least two or three people out there who are sick of watching crappy reruns and want to know what the hell is going on. It’s because there’s a writer’s strike going on in Hollywood. Basically, the writers are pissed because production companies are making money when people pay to watch TV on the Internet, but they ain’t gettin’ their fair share of the pie. Can’t say that I blame them for that, really, but when that dooms us to watch crappy reruns for months on end… that sucks.

So while I’m calling this entry “Solidarity!”, it’s really just an excuse to play reruns (i.e., repost a bunch of stuff from my original blog that never got transferred to this site). Who knows? Maybe showing off the oldies but goodies will make you swear off TV for life. Or maybe it’ll be so bad that the production companies will pay whatever it takes to get me to stop writing. Whatever it takes, man—I’m just trying to look out for the little guy. And you, too.