“They didn’t really HIGHLIGHT [your hair], they just darkened around those blonde streaks.” — Laurie Handler
“But at least you know that I don’t bleach the hair on my butt—I make an excellent smartass.” — Me
To-Do List
(Courtesy of “Too Much Coffee Man,” by Shannon Wheeler)
1. Get paper and pencil.
2. Think about things To-Do.
3. Start writing the To-Do List.
4. Watch the list get really big.
5. Get overwhelmed.
6. Panic.
7. Start doing stuff (that isn’t the stuff you’re trying to do) in order to avoid the stuff that you are trying to do.
8. Have anxiety.
9. Work on list again.
10. Add increasingly impossible things to the list.
11. Think about the things you’ve wanted to do in your life, but haven’t done. Realize that your life is a waste and that achieving even the simplest goals is beyond you.
12. Allow yourself to be filled with shame.
13. Freak out.
14. Spend so much time on the To-Do List that you run out of time to actually do anything.
15. Give up.
16. Go outside. It’s a nice day. Life is short.
Share this:
Common side effects may include…
During every TV commercial about some kind of drug, they have started listing potential side effects and Viagra is no different. Now they have a doctor explaining its benefits, but he also mentions that it can cause things like headaches, stomach discomfort and abnormal vision. It turns out our parents were right, guys:
If you masturbate (while using Viagra), you could go blind.
Share this:
He’s a playah
I’m so smooth, you might as well call me “Astroglide.”
Share this:
Disgruntled little blue people
That’s bullsmurf! Take your smurf and smurf it up your smurfing smurf! Smurf you, mother smurfer!
Share this:
Quantity of partners ? quality of purity score
Just because you’ve only tapped a few wells doesn’t mean you haven’t drained them dry.
