Don’t sweat the small stuff. Don’t sweat the big stuff, either. Just go straight to the nervous breakdown.
Crank it up!
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. Unless the volume is turned up so loud that they rupture my eardrums.
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Plus there may be some drool involved
Some things are as easy as taking candy from a baby. But sometimes the baby already swallowed the candy, in which case it takes a lot longer and you have to deal with a lot more shit before you’re done.
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“I’ll hit you if you’ll hit me back.”
The Golden Rule states: “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.” If you’re a masochist, does that mean you’re morally obligated to hurt people?
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An envelope with a shedding problem?
The hair is in my purse. We need to go to the post office.
— Mary B.
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Playing with scissors
“If you have a problem, fix it.”
“He’s the problem! Cut his nuts off!”
