Category: Beauty and the Geek

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To geek or not to geek

You haven’t the slightest idea how many people have told me, “Shawn, you’re not a geek.” (Hell, come to think of it, I haven’t the slightest idea, either…) Just trust me, there have been a lot. So what’s the deal? How did I end up as a “Geek” when I’m not a geek? It’s all in the interpretation.

This might be redundant for people who have read my blog, but here’s the deal: when the initial flyer to recruit people came out, it simply read that we were supposed to be within a certain age range, single and smart. That was it. If we’d be a better fit for Jeopardy than The Bachelor, “the producers wanted us.” Given that I fit those requirements, I went to the casting agency, had my quick interview and the rest is history. Exactly how it’ll be listed in the history books, though… that’s still up in the air.

When we went to the mansion, we had no idea what we were getting into. The show didn’t even have a title until after production began—I found out what it was after I flew home from L.A. (The title Beauty and the Geek reminded me a little of Who’s Your Daddy?, a show that tanked after the first episode, so I didn’t think we’d be on the air very long.) That’s my point, really: Beauty and the Geek is a catchy title that implies that we were geeks, but the description they provided in every press release and the beginning of the show is more appropriate.

At least in my case, whether I looked cute or adorable or HOTT had nothing to do with why I was there. I was there because people scared the hell out of me (and still do, to some degree). I’d be at a party, find a nice corner, then plop down and people-watch for hours. The show included a clip of me saying that I was the kid in junior high who went to school dances, then sat off to the side and drank punch all night. In the past, I’ve had a hard time walking up and introducing myself to any stranger, let alone an attractive woman.

Also in my case, the purpose of the show was to change my perspective a little and show me that I don’t need to hide in the corner anymore. I can engage anyone in conversation, be confident, etc., etc., etc. It’s worked to some degree, though I think part of that change is because I’m Shawn 2.0, the B-level celebrity. I don’t feel like much has changed about me, but people look at me differently—it’s kinda like I’m up on a (very short) pedestal, so I have to change my stature a little to measure up to their higher expectations.

But my point is that the rumors are probably true—I’m not much of a geek. “Beauty and the Geek” is rather misleading in that sense, but I was on the show for the right reason: I was a social caterpillar (think “opposite of social butterfly”). Now I’m coming out of my shell a little, starting to spread my wings and believing that maybe everyone is right. Maybe I really am HOTT.

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Happy 25th birthday, Scarlet!

My “little sister” from Beauty and the Geek reached the quarter-century mark today—if she does it two more times, she’ll be well into “crusty ol’ fart” range. Maybe by then, she’ll have become rich and famous enough to buy a mansion, so when I come visit L.A., we can share a room and it’ll be just like old times. (The only difference might be that we’ll know how to get hot water out of the shower…)

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S2, Finale: Are you thinking what I’m thinking?

At the beginning of the episode, they showed everyone in a room by themselves. It’s a big mansion from the outside, but trust me, it gets a lot bigger when you’re running out of housemates.

Out of all the activities everyone liked, Josh surprised me the most. He doesn’t seem like an outdoorsy person, but it looks like he would have had an easy time reeling in the dead fish last season. Joe playing chess, Brittany going ice skating, Cher making sushi… pretty cool stuff, but it pales in comparison to fly fishing.

Hey, Cher! The cute biting-the-tongue act was mine! Copycat!

Yay! Josh finally got into the hot tub and roasted his nuts! There may not have been eight beautiful women around at the time, but dammit, that’s progress!

I have to admit, if you ignore the fact that the final elimination took about half the episode, I liked it more this time. It wasn’t thinking of cold, hard facts about their partners—it was thinking like their partners.

Cher has become a lot more huggy in the last few weeks, hasn’t she? In his final interview, Josh was talking about puking out all his internal organs because the beautiful girls made him so nervous. Just imagine how he (and his stomach) would have reacted two months ago if Cher had been constantly draped over him when he answered questions correctly.

And along those lines, try to imagine him talking about the size of Wes’s penis during the first episode. In his own words, “BLEEEAAARRRRGH!!!!”

Now that I think about it, maybe Josh and I are more alike than I thought. Sure, Karl is on the verge of being my twin brother, but Josh and I grew up around lakes, we like to spend time in the outdoors, we both barfed during the course of the show… we’re almost the same person! I’m taller and heavier, but besides that, we’re the same!

The last commercial break was really obnoxious. “Josh needs this answer to force a tie-breaker… let’s see if he gets it after this.” Hmmm… the clock says there’s ten minutes left in the show—I wonder if he’ll screw up and they’ll show a bunch of flashbacks again…

Here’s an e-tissue for Joe: he was a cool guy and I can’t say I blame him for being so emotional. That’s not to say I would have been that choked up if I’d lost the final elimination, but I understand how he could feel that way. (If you haven’t been sitting in an interview chair for the last time, don’t judge—saying goodbye to the whole experience is a lot more overwhelming than you’d think.)

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S2, Episode 7: Never Eat Shredded Wheat

In case you’re confused about the heading, go around a compass clockwise and the capital letters correspond with the directions. Hey, it seemed just as cool as “The sun rises Early in the East” and “P-A-cific is the order of the Pacific and Atlantic Oceans” when I was little.

Fare thee well, Ankur and Jennipher. I’d say “We barely knew thee,” but… come to think of it, we barely knew thee. Given how many weeks you spent in front of all those cameras, you didn’t spend much time on our TV screens. The same goes for everyone else, of course, but since you’re the couple who left this episode, “We barely knew thee.”

After seeing all the ways Ankur has played with his facial hair, I give the Fu-Manchu mustache top honors.

Josh takes a stand: “I’m nobody’s bitch. I’ll go down there when I’m ready. … Okay, I’m ready.”

I thought having everyone making a tape to give their partner a “good-bye gift” was a really cool idea. I remember watching Season 1 on TV and gaining a lot of insight about what happened with everyone else during the course of the show. (The people watching all the camera feeds knew a helluva lot more than I did.) I also thought it was pretty funny how some of the guys were running around, looking for multiple locations to record parts of their goodbyes and make them a more visually appealing production. Geeks…

I’m not sure how many of you have ever looked at the Internet Movie Database, but it’s got credits for about a gajillion movies and TV shows in there. (If you look up Beauty and the Geek, you’ll find me! And if you look up me, you’ll find Beauty and the Geek!) I’m not sure if Season 2 is listed yet, but given his appearances on camera during the challenge, I wonder if Ankur and Jennipher’s driver will get credit as an extra… Gotta give the girl props, though—she didn’t quit. It may have taken many, many, many hours, but they found all the stores and got back home alive.

It looks like Cher is finally softening up. Naturally, this may have started happening much earlier, but that’s the joy of reality TV—the editors can show clips in whatever order they want to make things more interesting. If you don’t think so, go back through all the tapes and compare how people’s clothing changes between interviews versus between episodes. Regardless, she seems to gained some knowledge during the course of the show and that’s what this “social experiment” is all about.

As a final note, I busted out laughing at how Ankur determined what color the diamond was: “The question came up, so it’s not clear… it’s probably a girly, romantic color… pink.”

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I’ve got tres friends!

I taped last night’s episode of Beauty and the Geek. Or at least I thought I did. I popped the tape into the VCR (I know, you can see the cobwebs from here, but that’s what we’ve got), expecting to see some hot ladies and some nerdy guys. Well, I saw the latter. And they were wearing sombreros.

“Why the hell is Three Amigos on the tape?!” My best guess is that the “VCR+” programming got messed up somehow. The TV schedule has a coding system so you can use VCR+ to punch in a couple numbers and it’ll record a specific channel at a specific time. You can change the channel and time from that initial setting, so I always start it at 7:58 instead of 8:00 to make sure it records the opening of the show.

I also have to change the channel because we have cable. Normally, the WB is channel 23. With our cable service, it’s 13 instead. Channel 23 became WGN, which happened to be showing Three Amigos during the same time slot as Beauty and the Geek Thursday night. Sonofabitch!!

Sorry, guys—you’ll have to wait for a report and analysis about this week’s episode until next Wednesday. Assuming that I don’t leave for the evening, giving VCR+ a chance to screw up again and record a one-hour segment of something like Police Academy instead.

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S2, Episode 6: I’m too sexy for my shirt

I’m kinda sad. The show didn’t make nearly as big a deal when Erika and Brad met in the Elimination Room and he knocked her out of the mansion, but when Cher did it to Wes, they played a five-minute flashback of all the good moments those two had on tape (which was somewhere in the range of six or seven). So the happy couple has split up: Wes and Sarah, Goddess Of All That Is Cold And Nipply, headed home.

*Ring* “Hello? Yeah, hold on a sec. Hey, Joe! It’s Playboy! They said your work is pretty good, but you’re a little too freaky for their taste!” Sure, all the guys were using some… interesting methods when trying to motivate their women to look sexy in front of the camera, but I agree with Brittney: Joe always wanting to make it hotter and more seductive was a little uncomfortable.

For God’s sake, guys, get the camera centered on your woman! Don’t bury her in the corner of the picture and leave open space everywhere else! It looks TERRIBLE!

Did anyone notice that the judge standing on the far right was the guy from last season who had the bright yellow hair and goatee? I guess the WB likes him. Or maybe they owe him money or something.

I liked the girls’ challenge for a couple reasons:

  1. Now they know how awkward it can be to ask someone to dinner, even when it’s someone you know. (They’re not used to doing it because they’re beautiful and guys always ask them; geeks aren’t used to doing it because… well, they’re geeks.)
  2. Now they know what it’s like to approach people who are nearly unattainable and rarely willing to even talk to you.
  3. Anyone who thinks that beauty doesn’t need makeup or trendy clothing has probably never been clubbing in L.A. before.

You could see the effects the challenge had on their faces and in their voices when they got back. Even Cher stopped thinking about the money—she was starting to understand what the geeks go through when they’re out in public, trying to interact with people. They might not be dressed up in frumpy clothes to make them look out of place, but they feel out of place and it has the exact same effect. (Did we have an enlightening challenge like that during Episode 5 in the first season? I don’t think so, but I was kinda busy throwing up…)