Category: Beauty and the Geek

NOOOOOO!!! Danielle and my evil twin brother Karl get eliminated. (Well, which one of us is the evil twin hasn’t been established yet, but he still left the mansion.)

What this means, of course, is that the three couples I picked out as staying around the longest because of their lack of air time are still there along with Cher and Josh. Am I good or what?

Given Karl’s mention of all the pythons in the room, I wonder how much Chris would have been strutting around after losing his clothes. You know, with him being cut and all. I also wonder if that was the purpose of the body waxing during the makeovers—so you wouldn’t be thinking of Guns N Roses’ “Welcome to the Jungle” when the guys whipped off their shirts. And as a final note, I’d like to point out that when playing poker, it’s better to have a really good hand than to be really good at bluffing with a crappy one.

Josh received the most guests and became a social butterfly. I am shocked, awed and pretty impressed all at the same time. (I liked how they made him look like Richard asking for phone numbers—a whole lot of miserable failures, reactions to people ignoring him… if he had said something like, “Do you like garlic? ‘Cause there’s gonna be a lot at this VIP party,” I probably would have started crying.) As for Karl and Danielle… at least they had good food to eat while waiting for no one to show up.

Oh, and I would like to point something out regarding Wes and Cher hooking up. Perhaps the WB changed its policy for Season 2, but before Season 1 began filming, we had to sign yet another contract that disallowed certain kinds of physical contact. Had Wes and Cher been abiding by that contract while curled up in bed, they would have had limited options beyond making out. I think the list we came up with was trimmed down to dry-humping, footjobs and tossing the salad.

“I’m not asking you to make the decision, I’m asking for your personal opinion.” It seems Cher’s personal opinion was enough to tilt the scales away from Wes.

Finally, I seem to recall people getting kinda pissed that last season’s host was getting a little more involved in the show than he should have. If that was the case, then they must be gettin’ their mad on after this episode—the cameras showed him cracking up and having fun during strip poker, gave him a little monologue after Karl and Danielle left the elimination room (”You must have lost some good friends”)… I wonder if it’ll get any worse.

My three couples are still around at the cost of Tristin and Chris. This time, I’m not so sure I wanted them to lose.

It still amazes me that it only takes one episode to change Chris from an arrogant bastard to someone who just doesn’t know any better until it’s too late. And I’m glad that his ability to make cards helped patch things up between Tristin and him.

Cher, on the other hand, has become the new Chris. Apparently, someone needs to be evil to create more suspense, so now she’s the money-grubber who doesn’t care about self-improvement. Personally, I was thrilled that before going to the elimination room, she kept telling Josh, “It’s up to you now.” How sensitive of her to be concerned about her partner’s feelings…

Holy crap! Karl does look like me!

I’m starting to wonder about Wes. He was really suave while winning the speed dating challenge, he looked like he could replace the host after getting his makeover, he’s hooking up with Cher next week… aside from tracking monkeys with lasers, does he have any geek credentials? I’m starting to wonder about him…

Speaking of hooking up, I’m a little disappointed that they revealed the couple during the preview for next week. Last season, it just showed some hands (belonging to Chuck) rubbing Scarlet’s back and her saying, “Oh my God…” That was suspense. That led to a lot of speculation on the Internet, discussion about the “scandalous” behavior (assuming they weren’t my hands)… that was drama. This was crap. Shame on the editors for spoiling everyone’s fun!

My three picks are still in the game, which unfortunately came at the cost of Tyson and Thais. [Insert crying and sniffling here] On second thought, I better not cry, ’cause Chris thinks that’s girly behavior and he prefers cussing and spitting tacks. If only Tristin had taken her frustrations out on him…

The geeks found that while the “male” end of nails, screws and staples go into the walls, the “female” ends don’t always want to get pounded or screwed—I just hope no one drew blood. (No pun intended regarding Wes’s last minute addition to the wall…) Joe’s room was nice, but all the little candies and stuff on the comforter? I wouldn’t want to organize those on the bed every time I invited someone to my place. If Josh had used a shelf for the bear, okay, but stapling it to the wall? You might as well head back to the store to look for a big cross and turn the thing into a big, fuzzy crucifix with the bear sacrificing itself to redeem all geeks for their awkwardness.

The beauties found that while the “male” end of computer cords want to go into the “female” ends, they don’t always fit properly—when it doesn’t work, no juice, no bright lights, no music… nada. And given that the host said they had to download “a song,” I wonder if there were a couple choices. “Get the Tupac! Tupac!!”

It looks like Cher might be creeping into Chris territory. Back when I had to choose someone to go to the elimination room, I had plenty of time to think about what I was going to say. When she stood in front of the group and said she hoped Brandon and Amanda would come back, that wasn’t off the cuff—she intended to say it and she deserved the same response for her half-assed apology that Chris received down at the hot tub during Episode 2. (I’m a little surprised that she bothered talking to Chris along with Tristin, but… well, I don’t know about her anymore.)

The same goes for her discussion with Josh after they came back from the challenges. “You only did one thing I told you about!” Here’s the lesson of the day, kids: support your partner. If they screw up, help them understand what they could have done better—chewing them out doesn’t accomplish much. If anything, it creates friction and pisses them off. (If you didn’t see Season 1… just trust me, I know what I’m talking about.) Josh said that he’ll end up having a chat with Cher about her attitude—I hope he gets up the gumption to do it.

Nazi Studier Tyson couldn’t hold up against the lead created by Tristin the Invincible (man, I could see the bloodthirsty look in her eyes every time she was on camera—she really wants a piece of Cher, no question).

Note to Tyson about the lesson of the day: give Thais a hug when you walk in the room. It was pretty obvious that you were really intense about being in the elimination room, but that looked seriously harsh—give her some love to let her know you appreciate her best effort.

Another note to Tyson: Way to score with two chicks at once!

A final note to Tyson: Beauty and the Geek, then Leno, now Twins? If you’re not careful, you could turn into a Richardesque media whore… (And I bite my thumb toward anyone who said Rubik’s Cube skills could never get you anywhere…)

For starters, I want to reflect back to last season—the teams (especially myself) who did well got the least exposure during the initial episodes. As such, I’m predicting that Wes and Sarah, Joe and Brittany, Ankur and Jennipher… those couples will be going deep into the season.

Chris and Amanda switched up with Brandon and Tristin. Amanda didn’t have to strangle herself, Tristin explained to Chris that he acted like a pompous ass and he discovered that it takes a lot more than a brief apology to soothe ruffled feathers.

I remember thinking, “Karaoke? I would have preferred that to dancing in front of a crowd…” Then I saw the camera moving around, showing a completely filled nightclub and changed my mind. Tyson rocked the house and I haven’t the slightest idea how he worked his Rubik’s Cube into his routine, but it worked.

I was in debate in high school, but we always got to prepare a speech and read from notes while presenting our argument to the judge. We only had one topic to focus on, so we rarely diverted to talking about stuff like our nifty debating outfits. (No offense, ladies.) Cher scored big points by talking about her grandmother regarding Social Security.

That’s one thing I noticed about the scores: both winners got over 70% of the votes, in part because they worked their personal experience into it. Doing something you know about = less nervousness. Whoa… I never would have believed it if I hadn’t seen it…

To-ga! To-ga! To-ga!

Chris knew that if he and his partner didn’t win a challenge, they were headed to the elimination room. He was right. What he didn’t realize was that Amanda, his former partner, would join him there as a member of the other team.

Chris and Tristin came out victorious, so two big questions remain for Episode 3:

1) How will people react when they walk in the door instead of Brandon and Amanda?
2) Even though Chris “saw the error of his ways,” will he follow through with his threat and send the Ty duo to the elimination room if he gets the chance?