I guess this entry fits in with the solidarity theme since I posted it back in 2006, but it’s still a survey that I got off someone’s blog (versus a Myspace bulletin this time). Normally at this point, I’d say “Go, writers!” since I think they’ve got a right to be pissed off. However, I just finished watching The Tonight Show and it was really obnoxious when people in the audience were yelling random stuff that you couldn’t understand while Bill Maher was talking. So [BLANK]<\/b> you, mother [BLANK]<\/b>ers! And now, back to your regularly scheduled survey.<\/p>\n
I’M AMAZED\u2026<\/b> at how a little extra gasoline can make a house burn so much faster.<\/p>\n
I DOUBT\u2026<\/b> I\u2019ll do \u201cThe Chicken Dance\u201d ever, ever, ever<\/i>!<\/p>\n
I CAN\u2019T SEE\u2026<\/b> \u201cclearly now, the rain is back\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
I WANT TO BEAT WITH A SOCKFUL OF QUARTERS\u2026<\/b> the washing machine at the apartment building.<\/p>\n
I’M ADDICTED\u2026<\/b> to smack. I can\u2019t stop talking it. Way too much fun to talk smack.<\/p>\n
I FEEL BAD\u2026<\/b> about an hour after eating at Taco Bell.<\/p>\n
I WATCH\u2026<\/b> people on the sidewalk and wonder how many of them have really bad gas this morning.<\/p>\n
I LISTEN\u2026<\/b> to the voices in my head way too often.<\/p>\n
IF I HAD A MILLION DOLLARS\u2026<\/b> I\u2019d buy a million things off the dollar menu at a fast-food restaurant and still have $10,000 to spare (before sales tax).<\/p>\n
I WANT\u2026<\/b> a cookie. Not just any cookie, mind you\u2014I want your<\/i> cookie.<\/p>\n
I CAN\u2019T LIVE WITHOUT\u2026<\/b> oxygen for longer than a couple minutes.<\/p>\n
I’M OBSESSED\u2026<\/b> with having an equal number of boogers in each nostril.<\/p>\n
I THINK CHILDREN\u2026<\/b> are out to get me.<\/p>\n
I CAN\u2019T WAIT\u2026<\/b> to pee while I\u2019m driving on the interstate at 3:00 in the morning and all the gas stations are closed, so I wet myself and feel oh so much better!<\/p>\n
I’M PROUD\u2026<\/b> that\u2019s all. I\u2019m just proud.<\/p>\n
I HAVE A DREAM\u2026<\/b> pretty much every night.<\/p>\n
I ALWAYS WEAR\u2026<\/b> my underwear until it has holes in it, though I usually wash them once or twice before that happens.<\/p>\n
I FEAR\u2026<\/b> the monsters under my bed and the skeletons in my closet. They\u2019re even worse than the children out to get me\u2026<\/p>\n
I WISH\u2026<\/b> for more wishes.<\/p>\n
I ONCE ACCIDENTALLY\u2026<\/b> put it in the wrong hole and she punched me really hard.<\/p>\n
I NEVER\u2026<\/b> want to see my parents having sex ever again. Not even on home video with porno music playing.<\/p>\n
I\u2019D KILL TO\u2026<\/b> have something to eat after a plane crash on a mountain.<\/p>\n
I MISS\u2026<\/b> when I try to shoot a target, but don\u2019t hit it.<\/p>\n
I’M LOATHE TO ADMIT\u2026<\/b> traffic violations after a cop pulls me over.<\/p>\n
I\u2019LL NEVER FORGIVE\u2026<\/b> those two hookers who gave me the clap last August (even though I shorted them ten bucks).<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I guess this entry fits in with the solidarity theme since I posted it back in 2006, but it’s still a survey that I got off someone’s blog (versus a Myspace bulletin this time). Normally at this point, I’d say “Go, writers!” since I think they’ve got a right to be pissed off. However, I … <\/p>\n