{"id":40,"date":"2004-11-05T08:40:47","date_gmt":"2004-11-05T12:40:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.shawnbakken.net\/?p=40"},"modified":"2011-05-10T01:54:37","modified_gmt":"2011-05-10T06:54:37","slug":"shawn-bakken-come-on-down","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shawnbakken.net\/?p=40","title":{"rendered":"Shawn Bakken, come on down!"},"content":{"rendered":"

Honestly, I had been a little skeptical of networking before. <\/span>I\u2019m not the kind of person to drop my name, job, favorite position, rank and serial number at the drop of a hat\u2014I prefer much more casual, social connections. <\/span>To my surprise, one of those turned into what could be the opportunity of a lifetime\u2026 or maybe just something to tell the grandkids\u2026 or maybe something that could give me cancer of the fingernail, for all I know. <\/span>We\u2019ll all have to wait for a while to find out the result. <\/span>Unless it\u2019s cancer\u2014that takes a while to diagnose, especially if I keep it trimmed down at the source.<\/p>\n

<\/o:p>First, a confession: I\u2019m a member of Mensa. <\/span>There was a hint about that in the entry from 11\/08\/2003 when I stole quotes from the Mensagenda. <\/span>I suppose I could have been sneaking around to smart people\u2019s houses and stealing their mail, so I guess it wasn\u2019t a complete giveaway. <\/span>Regardless, that was the reason I spent two three-hour shifts working at the Mensa booth at the State Fair this summer.<\/p>\n

<\/o:p><\/p>\n

It was kinda fun, really. <\/span>I had stopped by there last year, which was when I ultimately decided to apply for membership, so I figured I\u2019d return the favor. <\/span>Given the prevalence of old people who are actively involved with Mensa and do stuff like working at the State Fair (I think the guy last year could have been my grandfather at the very youngest), I thought it might be a good idea to show that it wasn\u2019t just a group of old farts who like to hang out and answer trivia questions after a monthly potluck dinner. <\/span>No, sometimes there are young farts like me.<\/p>\n

<\/o:p><\/p>\n

Aside from the little pamphlets and what not on the table, there were some questions on a posterboard behind us (math, language, logic, etc.) and some toothpick puzzles as well. <\/span>I had a lot<\/em> of fun with those toothpick puzzles. <\/span>Let\u2019s see if I can draw one of these out:<\/p>\n

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ <\/p>\n

| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |<\/p>\n

| _ | _ | _ | _ | _ | _ |<\/p>\n

<\/o:p><\/p>\n

It\u2019s three toothpicks across the top and the bottom, then seven more that divide it vertically into six equal sections that \u201ckeep your sheep together.\u201d <\/span>The puzzle? <\/span>Someone \u201csteals\u201d one of the toothpicks and you need to find a way to keep all six sheep together in sections that are all still the same size. <\/span>(Wouldn\u2019t want to give any sheep an inferiority complex, now, would we?) <\/span>Given how much fun I had trying to both draw the shape and remember how the puzzle worked, I\u2019m going to spoil it for you: use the remaining twelve toothpicks to form a hexagon with the other six toothpicks pointing to the middle. <\/span>Ta-da!<\/p>\n

<\/o:p><\/p>\n

The puzzles were all like that in some manner or another. <\/span>Mostly, I was there to make conversation, put the toothpicks back when people took off right after solving the problems, give them the answers when they gave up\u2026 I don\u2019t think laughing at the really frustrated ones was part of the job description, but I did it anyway. <\/span>It wasn\u2019t to be mean, but you could almost see the smoke coming out of their ears\u2026<\/p>\n

<\/o:p><\/p>\n

Then there were the people who came up and asked some trivia problems of their own. <\/span>The most interesting I heard was when someone explained how one pound of gold was heavier than one pound of feathers because they were measured in different microscopic particles or some bullshit like that. <\/span>You don\u2019t want to incite people like that, but it was so<\/em> tempting to tell him to contact the Nobel people and explain that he\u2019d disproved the equation \u201c1 = 1\u201d. <\/span>I don\u2019t think he would have been all that amused, but that\u2019s really not the point.<\/p>\n

<\/o:p><\/p>\n

The point is that when I volunteered to help out, I asked to work with more experienced people \u2018cause I hadn\u2019t the slightest idea what I\u2019d be doing. <\/span>If I was supposed to fly solo, I was gonna be in deep doody. <\/span>So the first morning, I was working with a guy named Paul Jensen. <\/span>Large guy, fairly cheery and really surprised that he didn\u2019t recognize me. <\/span>Hey, we hadn\u2019t met before, what do you expect? <\/span>But he was one of the proctors who helps with the testing for Mensa applicants and never remembered seeing me before. <\/span>It was because there are two ways to join the organization: take the national test at a designated time and location or submit another applicable test score that complies with their standards. <\/span>I sent in my LSAT records, they took one look and I got accepted. <\/span>Similarly, Paul asked me what my score was, I told him and\u2026 well, it wasn\u2019t like his eyes lit up, but later on, he called me about possibly joining a couple other organizations for smart people. <\/span>I opted not to and I thought that would be the end of it.<\/p>\n

<\/o:p><\/p>\n

Jump to a couple months later, right around my birthday (October 19th<\/sup>). <\/span>I got home that day and Mom told me that there was a message on the answering machine for me. <\/span>We still haven\u2019t erased it, so this is a direct transcription:<\/p>\n

<\/o:p><\/p>\n

\u201cHi, this is a message for Shawn. <\/span>Shawn, my name is Amy, I\u2019m called with Akerlind & Associates casting. <\/span>Actually, Paul Jensen, um, he gave me your phone number. <\/span>I\u2019m not sure if you\u2019ve seen the notices at this point, but we are doing a casting search for the WB network for, um\u2026 a game show, like, um, television show in which they are seeking quite intelligent men between 21 and 32 years of age who are single. <\/span>Um, anyhow, a-as I mentioned, Paul thought you might be a good candidate, um, so we\u2019d love to have you in if you\u2019re available, we\u2019re doing, um, the initial interview would be Monday or Tuesday\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

<\/o:p><\/p>\n

There were dates and times, of course, but you get the idea. <\/span>It seemed that during my three-hour shift at the State Fair, I made a pretty good impression with Paul. <\/span>Amy told me later that I should feel pretty good about the fact that he recommended me\u2014I do. <\/span>I like making a good first impression, but like I said, I never thought it was any sort of networking.<\/p>\n

<\/o:p><\/p>\n

[For the record, the notices she referred to were on the Minnesota Mensa website: given that it hadn\u2019t changed for the first eight or nine months after I became a member, I rarely bothered to take a look and thus never knew about the casting search until they<\/em> called me<\/em>. <\/span>One more reason to think it\u2019s pretty cool\u2026]<\/p>\n

<\/o:p><\/p>\n

So I called and set up my appointment for 11:30 on the 26th<\/sup>. <\/span>When I got there, I had to fill out a form asking a bunch of questions that I didn\u2019t know how to answer. <\/span>\u201cWhat are your best and worst traits?\u201d <\/span>\u201cDo you think there are any women you couldn\u2019t date?\u201d <\/span>\u201cWhat\u2019s the first category you\u2019d choose in Jeopardy?\u201d <\/span>So many questions, so little time to figure them out\u2026 it\u2019s perfectly understandable to note that later that afternoon, I could have filled out the forms much more completely. <\/span>There wouldn\u2019t have been so many lies and half-truths, I would have chosen mythology instead of movies for Jeopardy, etc. <\/span>Hell, there may have been conflicting answers between the forms and my little on-camera interview.<\/p>\n

<\/o:p><\/p>\n

Once I finished the paperwork, they took my picture and Curt Akerlind took me into a separate room to get some more dirt about my life. <\/span>That part was fun, really\u2014I got to tell him stories like the ex-girlfriend who had sent me a list of things that I\u2019d have to do for the relationship to continue:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Shave my mustache (I had a goatee at the time)<\/li>\n
  2. Get contact lenses<\/li>\n
  3. Learn how to swing dance<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Like I told Curt, the relationship didn\u2019t last very long after that. <\/span>There were the stories about how I haven\u2019t had a date in about two years (shhhh, don\u2019t tell anyone\u2026) and how I prefer hanging out with my friends than approaching people in a room full of strangers, but overall, I had fun.<\/p>\n

    <\/o:p><\/p>\n

    I\u2019m also not sure whether this had any effect or not, but during the course of the interview, I had a flashback to law school. <\/span>During a class exercise, I had to match up against another student to present a case in front of a \u201cjudge.\u201d <\/span>At the end, one of the things he pointed out was that we didn\u2019t seem to know what to do with our hands. <\/span>I honestly couldn\u2019t recall what I was doing aside from eventually keeping one in my pocket most of the time while gesturing with the other. <\/span>I thought about that during the interview and realized that I was just kinda rubbing my fingers together, so I started using them more while I was talking\u2014it probably made me look more animated, more dramatic\u2026 more like I was having nasty muscle spasms in my arms? <\/span>I dunno, but at least they weren\u2019t just lying in my lap anymore.<\/p>\n

    <\/o:p><\/p>\n

    When it was done, Curt thought I had done a pretty good job. <\/span>I don\u2019t recall a whole lot about the discussion, but he thought I was someone the audience would want to root for. <\/span>Dunno if that means I\u2019d be that appealing or I\u2019d be such a complete underdog, but it was still nice to hear. <\/span>He also said that he\u2019d be sending the footage for everyone in and if we were one of the chosen few being led to the Promised Land, we\u2019d hear back sometime around Thanksgiving.<\/p>\n

    <\/o:p><\/p>\n

    Afterwards, I got to spend some time wondering about two things:<\/p>\n

      \n
    1. Does he give complements to everyone after interviews like that?<\/li>\n
    2. If I don\u2019t get tapped, will they at least call to tell me that?<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

      I\u2019ll be the first to admit that I haven\u2019t the slightest idea how Hollywood works. <\/span>I just remembered that in high school, they\u2019d tell everyone who tried out that they did a great job and they\u2019d hear back soon. <\/span>I also remembered a story from law school about how some guy applied for a summer clerkship at a law firm and got a rejection letter. <\/span>Unfortunately, the secretary neglected to remove a Post-It note on the front saying something to the effect of \u201cSend this kid the \u2018fuck-off letter.\u2019\u201d <\/span>Oops\u2026 <\/span>But I didn\u2019t know whether the WB would be gracious enough to tell me to fuck off, so I was left wondering what might happen within the next month.<\/p>\n

      <\/o:p><\/p>\n

      Turns out I didn\u2019t have to wait that long. <\/span>On Tuesday (Nov. 3rd<\/sup>), I got home from work and discovered a new message on the answering machine. <\/span>I also discovered one of the evils of call waiting. <\/span>Whenever you\u2019re talking on the phone, it\u2019ll *BOOP*<\/strong> in the receiver twice to let you know there\u2019s someone calling on the other line. <\/span>Thus, this is the direct transcript of the second message:<\/p>\n

      <\/o:p><\/p>\n

      \u201cHi, this message is for Shawn Bakker [pronounced \u201cBaker\u201d], um, my name is Megan, I\u2019m calling from the WB show The *BOOP*<\/strong>or in Minneapolis, um, we would love to see a little bit more of you on a home tape. <\/span>If you can please gimme a call back at 310-727-three-three-*BOOP*<\/strong> I\u2019ll explain a little bit more about it to you. <\/span>Thanks, Shawn. <\/span>Again, my name is Megan. <\/span>Bye.\u201d<\/p>\n

      <\/o:p><\/p>\n

      Shit.<\/p>\n

      <\/o:p><\/p>\n

      There was no way to hear what those last two digits were. <\/span>We have caller ID\u2014it just said PRIVATE CALLER. <\/span>Again, I haven\u2019t the slightest idea how Hollywood works, but I had the feeling that they wouldn\u2019t call a second time if they didn\u2019t hear from me within a few days.<\/p>\n

      <\/o:p><\/p>\n

      Shit.<\/p>\n

      <\/o:p><\/p>\n

      I tried calling Amy at Akerlind the next afternoon (when I first woke up that morning, I would have been calling at about 7:30 PST and by now, I would have preferred trying to send smoke signals cross-country rather than deal with any more answering machines). <\/span>Thankfully, she gave me those last two digits (and I ain\u2019t givin\u2019 \u2018em to you because I don\u2019t need your help\u2014I can sabotage my own application to this television show, thank you very much). <\/span>Then I called and asked for Megan.<\/p>\n

      <\/o:p><\/p>\n

      She gave me a brief explanation of the next step in the process and then sent me an e-mail with two documents attached. <\/span>One was a 10-page questionnaire\u2014hey, at least I have more than ten minutes to fill it out this time\u2014and the other was a \u201cflyer\u201d that included some more details about what I\u2019m supposed to do next. <\/span>Since I\u2019m having fun quoting this stuff verbatim, here\u2019s the document in its entirety. <\/span>(I imagine that the first part was primarily the original pitch to get people to apply; the second step\u2026 well, it says when the second part starts.)<\/p>\n

      _ _ _ _ _<\/p>\n

      <\/o:p><\/p>\n

      Win a HUGE CASH PRIZE and PAY OFF STUDENT LOANS!!<\/o:p><\/span><\/p>\n

      <\/o:p><\/p>\n

      This is the Opportunity of a Lifetime!<\/p>\n

      The WB has a new game show looking for smart SINGLE guys 21-32 years old with a high IQ and a savvy intellect. <\/span>If you are more likely to be featured on Jeopardy rather than The Bachelor then we want you and you need us. <\/span>[That\u2019s right: survival depends on food, water, oxygen and the WB\u2026 who knew?] <\/span>The next step is to make a home tape and tell us who you are.<\/p>\n

      <\/o:p><\/p>\n

      How to make a good home tape:<\/p>\n

      Send us a 5-minute VHS videotape showing us why you should be on this Game Show. <\/span>Make your video as personal as possible. <\/span>We recommend that someone else record you. <\/span>Start with your name, age, and hometown. <\/span>There is no \u201cright\u201d or \u201cwrong\u201d thing to say on a tape, we just want to get to know you. <\/span>If you\u2019d like, take us on a tour of your life. <\/span>Show us what\u2019s important to you. <\/span>What sets you apart from other people? <\/span>Tell us where you work. <\/span>Tell us where you go\/ went to school (this is your 5 minutes to brag). <\/span>Why are you a good candidate for this show? <\/span>Remember, we need to SEE YOU IN ACTION!!<\/p>\n

      _ _ _ _ _<\/p>\n

      <\/o:p><\/p>\n

      So I printed out this flyer about eight hours ago and I\u2019m stumped as to what I\u2019m going to do. <\/span>I managed to procure myself a VHS camcorder (you\u2019d think they\u2019d gone the way of the Betamax, but there\u2019s one charging up in the family room courtesy of Matthew Feeney and the St. Paul Red Cross). <\/span>Now I just have to find a cameraperson, an idea of what to put on the tape, find out if I can record a bunch of stuff to cut and paste together into a brief \u201cLife of Shawn\u201d movie\u2026 so many questions, such a short deadline. <\/span>Megan said they wanted it by early next week. <\/span>If that\u2019s the case, to make sure it arrived on time, I should have shipped off the tape the day before she left her message on the answering machine. <\/span>Grrrr\u2026<\/p>\n

      <\/o:p>Anyway, that\u2019s the project of the hour, so I should probably work on that instead of writing any more in here. <\/span>Or maybe I should get to bed and save the project of the hour until some other reasonable hour of the day. <\/span>Don\u2019t worry\u2014I\u2019ll provide updates about any progress I might or might not make towards being on this game show. <\/span>Even if it includes someone sending me the \u201cfuck-off letter.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

      Honestly, I had been a little skeptical of networking before. I\u2019m not the kind of person to drop my name, job, favorite position, rank and serial number at the drop of a hat\u2014I prefer much more casual, social connections. To my surprise, one of those turned into what could be the opportunity of a lifetime\u2026 … <\/p>\n

      Continue reading “Shawn Bakken, come on down!”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[312,316,292,59,317],"class_list":["post-40","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-beauty-and-the-geek","tag-batg-application","tag-casting-agency","tag-casting-interview","tag-mensa","tag-minnesota-state-fair"],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1muBs-E","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shawnbakken.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/40","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shawnbakken.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shawnbakken.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shawnbakken.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shawnbakken.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=40"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.shawnbakken.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/40\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1374,"href":"https:\/\/www.shawnbakken.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/40\/revisions\/1374"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shawnbakken.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=40"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shawnbakken.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=40"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shawnbakken.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=40"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}