I stopped by Rainbow Foods earlier this afternoon and there’s one cool thing about their parking lot: the space that’s closest to the entry has a sign which says “Mother To Be Parking.” Yes, that’s right, even closer than the handicapped parking spaces. (“Screw you and your wheelchair! I had sex three months ago!”) Then again, you could cheat the system: “mother to be” could include an 8-year-old who wants to have kids when she grows up. I’d be impressed if she could work the pedals and park the vehicle properly, in which case she may have earned the right to use the space, but that’s beside the point.<\/p>\n
The point is that as I was leaving the grocery store, I walked past the space and saw an SUV there with a personalized license plate. A plate that read “ROGER L”<\/b>. You know, I got a B in Biology and I don’t remember the textbook ever saying that dudes could bear offspring. The only thing I can think of is that the vehicle belonged to a handicapped person who wanted to stick it to the pregnant women. (“Screw you and your uterus! I haven’t been able to have sex in three years!”) Personally, I wouldn’t take a chance like that. If a pregnant woman ever gets a serious hankering for Cheetos and there’s a guy’s SUV parked in the “Mother To Be” space… the vehicle could quickly end up as handicapped as the driver.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I stopped by Rainbow Foods earlier this afternoon and there’s one cool thing about their parking lot: the space that’s closest to the entry has a sign which says “Mother To Be Parking.” Yes, that’s right, even closer than the handicapped parking spaces. (“Screw you and your wheelchair! I had sex three months ago!”) Then … <\/p>\n