It was just like any other dinner, really. We ate, we drank, the food occasionally made an effort to escape from the plate, some people considered sitting nearby and thought better of it when they heard the conversation\u2014same old, same old…<\/p>\n
Normally, nothing really big comes from talking about killing animals, then wearing their bloody skins, Greeks don’t pay taxes \u2018cause they\u2019re dead, that sort of thing. Today, Tyler made some mention to Tim and me about a hunting magazine that someone once showed him. Apparently, in an effort to alter the course of hunting fashion trends, someone had an ad in there for pouches made from buffalo scrotum.<\/p>\n
I know, it\u2019s scary, but it got worse right away because both Tim and I misheard\u2014we thought he said \u201ccouches.\u201d Well, of course Tyler said you could sit on them, but wasn\u2019t quite sure why you would invite other people to sit on them. Once it got clarified, hell broke loose on our end of the table, as well as the other end of the table once we explained what the conversation was about. Here\u2019s a sample of some of the comments that came up with such an excellent topic:
\n_ _ _ _ _<\/p>\n
Would the couch shrink when it gets cold out?<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy does this couch have so many wrinkles?\u201d<\/p>\n
You\u2019d probably have to use a whole lot of \u2018em\u2014there\u2019d be stitch marks all over the thing.<\/p>\n
You know, you could use it as a wine pouch, and after someone takes a drink, you tell them what it’s made of…<\/p>\n
That might be a good way to keep from getting mugged. \u201cWell, I\u2019ll give you my money, but it\u2019s in this buffalo scrotum.\u201d \u201cYou know, maybe you better keep your money…\u201d<\/p>\n
You could use it for a bean bag! Or a hackey sack! \u201cC\u2019mon, let\u2019s go kick the scrotum around!\u201d<\/p>\n
Hey baby, I\u2019d get you something to drink, but I left my scrotum back in the car.<\/p>\n
Now that you\u2019ve touched my scrotum, does this mean we have something going?<\/p>\n
How big are buffalo scrotums?
\nBig enough for a pouch but smaller than a couch.
\nSomewhere between the size of a golf ball and Mercury.<\/p>\n
How much does a buffalo scrotum go for these days?
\n_ _ _ _ _<\/p>\n
Needless to say, we were all near tears for about five minutes during dinner
\ntonight. It\u2019s kinda cool, you know? Just when you think there\u2019s nothing funny about hunting, someone comes out with a product like \u201cbuffalo scrotum pouches.\u201d And to think I was losing my faith in the general state of humanity…
\n_ _ _ _ _<\/p>\n
After having read this, I\u2019m sure you realize that it\u2019s an excellent topic of conversation, preferably at a cocktail party. As such, I highly encourage all of you to add comments to this entry with some ideas of your own\u2014don\u2019t be too proud to share. Just make sure to keep your hands away from your pouches where we can see them.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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