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Hairy Scandinavians

I went to the Science Museum today for my little brother’s birthday because he wanted to see a movie about Vikings in the I-Max Theater. After watching that, we wandered around to look at various exhibits and I ended up visiting the gift shop for a while. They always have neat stuff to buy there: books, t-shirts, posters, jewelry… and action figures. They had action figures (I assume for the kids) which would either help stimulate their intellect or give them yet another target for G.I. Joe and his semi-automatic “Blow Your Scientific Ass Off” rifle. But what really surprised me were the figures they chose.

Albert Einstein and Benjamin Franklin weren’t a big deal. Leonardo da Vinci and Sigmund Freud seemed a little out of place in the museum, given its exhibits regarding dinosaurs, weather, etc. And then there was Bigfoot. BIGFOOT! In the Science Museum! Who the hell decided that would be a good idea?! “Even though its existence is based entirely on rumor, myth and fuzzy black-and-white videos, let’s pretend that it’s a scientific fact!” We lie enough as it is in the political sphere–why bastardize the natural sciences, too? On the other hand, if Bigfoot had been carrying a Norwegian flag, wielding a sword and wearing a helmet with horns on it… maybe that’s why the last five minutes of the movie were so fuzzy.

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The Ring

I look at the ceiling because the door is closed.
The path I saw in our future has been diverted.
I still hold her hand.
Her hand still holds mine.
But they will never hold the same way again.

A weight on my shoulders,
A dark cloud over my head,
Part of me wants to lie down and cry.
I hear her voice ring,
“There is always light at the end of the tunnel.”
However dim it might seem, the light is there.

A token on her finger, a reminder:
No matter what,
No matter when,
No matter how, I will always love you.

Sleep the sleep of angels tonight—
Our door is closed, but many others remain open.

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S3, Episode 4: Payback’s a bitch

… and Payback’s name is Cecille.

I swear to God, this is the first time I’ve thought, “Please don’t put her on the screen again. Pleeeeeease… I know she’s got great breasts, but that smirk hurts me in my soul.” Naturally, the editors ignored me.

During Season 1, they gave us champagne at the end of the challenges. On Sundays (our day off), there was enough for two beers each. Now they have no qualms about people getting wasted. Seeing Erin dance on the boat in her heels might have seemed hot, but I’m surprised the producers weren’t more concerned about her slipping and cracking her skull open. Drunk = good TV. Death from being drunk = not-so-good TV.

Speaking of drunk, the circle of blondes has been broken! Cecille’s bitching about Niels drove everyone out of the room!

I was giving Niels props before: he took a stand against the spoiled Jennylee, he defied the standards of fashion when choosing his makeover and succeeded… now I think he’s just a stubborn dick. He wasn’t supposed to be teaching the girls martial arts on the beach. They weren’t wearing gis, they weren’t taking their shoes off at the edge of the mat and they sure as hell weren’t bowing to him at the beginning of the class. (On the other hand, crawling around like a bear did give him a nice view of their haunches.)

Nate, do us all a favor and burn those tights. Please.

Scooter told the girls about 3rd position in ballet; Megan said if a guy brought her to a ballet, she’d think he was gay. Hmmm… I bet that’s why he was in the threesome! Chicks always dig the gay guys! Man, sometimes being straight really sucks… (And that was me being sarcastic, so for all you male readers out there, please don’t give me your phone numbers. If you really want to give me a call, try 1-800-555-I-DON’T-DATE-GUYS!)

Wasn’t it nice how encouraging the host was while the girls were searching for the walkie-talkies? “Someone’s found a box! She’s opening it… oh, snap! It’s empty! Sucks to be you!”

I wonder how close the race on the kayaks was. Seriously. I’m thinking Megan reached shore about five minutes after Cecille did. I’m also thinking that if all five guys had thought up decent upper-body workouts on the beach, paddling to the other side would hurt like hell.

“It’s only fair that since you sent us to the elimination room, we should send you now.” Why did they show Jennylee and Niels’ reaction while Cecille said it? Is it the slightest bit possible that there was a hint of remorse on her face because she kinda liked Jennylee? Naaaaah… she’s evil, remember?

Seeing Nate jumping up and down when Jennylee got her questions right was really funny and really weird at the same time. I remember thinking “Oh, Jesus…” while Richard was bouncing around and yelling “Gadzooks!” when Scarlet and Mindi were in the elimination room—I can only imagine what the other people were thinking while Nate was doing basically the same thing.

Drew was wearing kind of a stylish outfit during his final interview (especially compared to the picture of the galaxy on his t-shirt in the first episode). Do you think they gave the guys more than one makeover set of clothes? Make sure they were dressed up nice before hitting the road? Just a thought.

And the other half of the “Beauty and the Geek” coin is about to fall. They already found someone to be evil—now it looks like a geek will be hooking up with a beauty next week. Tune in to see…

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Furry Logic

Mom bought my little brother a monthly calendar that has some important sayings I felt were important to pass along. (Unfortunately, I can’t include pictures of a really fat, unsuccessful toad or a puffin lifting a mouthful of fish, etc., so try to use your imagination…)

I don’t repeat gossip. So listen carefully.
Anyone can be passionate. But it takes real lovers to be silly.
If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs — it’s quite possible you haven’t grasped the situation.
Stay in bed — it’s safer.
Too much of a good thing can be wonderful.
If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.
If at first you don’t succeed, swallow all evidence that you tried.
Never go to bed mad — stay up and fight.
I am NOT tense. Just terribly, terribly alert.
Be yourself. Nobody is better qualified.
Never eat more than you can lift.
If you leave me, can I come too?