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Gratitudes 2018, Day 36

After stuffing over 150 newsletters into envelopes this evening, I decided to write a Newsletter Edition of gratitudes tonight:

  1. Microsoft Publisher. “Start with two columns. You want to add a picture? Click this button, move it here, resize it, drag it over here. Want to change articles? Drag the old one to the side of the screen for possible later use, then copy and paste the new one in its place.” Every other month, create the same basic template and start all over again. Suck it, printing press!

  2. Mom’s industrial-sized double-sided color copier. Prints out lots of copies a minute on 11×17 paper so we can do all of the printing and production at home. Suck it, Kinkos!

  3. Mom’s paper folder. There was a time where we made two folds by hand: two sheets of 11×17 paper in half to make an eight-page 8.5×11 newsletter, then fold it in half again (originally into thirds) for stuffing into envelopes. If that first fold wasn’t exact, you could end up with some really crinkled paper. You say there’s a machine that’ll make a perfect first fold for us? Suck it, folding paper by hand! Well, I guess we still have to make the second fold ourselves… dang it!

  4. Self-sealing envelopes. Sure, you could lick over 150 envelopes every other month, but these envelopes have a sticky strip so you can just press the flap down to seal it. Suck it, dry tongues with paper cuts on them!

  5. Our little white plastic basket. Instead of just throwing the envelopes into a gigantic, disorganized pile, we can stack them nicely in this basket, then easily flip through them to make sure we printed the right number and all the envelopes have stamps. Suck it… eh, I think I’m out of things to be hostile towards. I’m just really grateful we have so many tools to make producing and mailing these newsletters faster and easier every year.

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Gratitudes 2018, Day 35

“Mindfulness is a state of active, open attention on the present.” If you’re trying to think of things to be grateful for, “pay attention to the details of now.” (As much as I’d like to take credit for the quotes above, I found them online. Not too proud to use them as a starting block for today’s gratitudes, though.)

  1. Jeans. Teresa and I took the dogs out to pee around 4:30 this morning. I normally just put on shorts and a short-sleeve shirt since I usually go back to bed afterward. When we got outside… the jeans I’m wearing now would have been nice to have on then. (Apparently, a clear night sky in the mid-50s isn’t shorts weather for me.)

  2. Socks. I’m stretched out on the bed and haven’t taken my socks off yet. They’re keeping my feet warm, which is a major benefit at night. I can’t sleep when my feet are cold and I’m happy to wear socks if it’ll keep me from tossing and turning all night.

  3. My bedside lamp. One of its best features is having a low setting so I can get some light on my side of the room, but it doesn’t keep Teresa awake when she goes to sleep earlier than me.

  4. Window shades. I’m grateful that I can go back to sleep after walking the dogs at 4:30 in the morning and don’t need to worry about the sun shining directly into my eyes half an hour later.

  5. The overhead fan in our bedroom. Not as important when the temperature gets down into the mid-50s, but it’s sooooooo nice to have on sweltering summer nights when it feels like you’re going to sweat through the covers as soon as you crawl into bed.

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Gratitudes 2018, Day 34

This list of gratitudes is brought to you by “Some of Shawn’s favorite words and phrases.”

  1. “Thanks.” One of the easiest ways to express gratitude that makes everyone’s day brighter.

  2. “I don’t know.” Perhaps one of the most underused phrases in America these days. Everyone’s got their opinions, everyone’s got their beliefs, but those are subjective. Are you really, really super-duper sure that your opinion is an absolute, objective fact? (Then again, now that summer break is over, students might want to keep this phrase underused or their grades could suffer…)

  3. “Please.” Politeness can go a long way when you need something from somebody.

  4. The F-bomb. Some people say its capacity for death and destruction lies somewhere between the A-bomb and the H-bomb. I say “FUUUUUUUU–“

  5. “I love you.” Do you have loved ones? Then tell them. And tell them again. Make sure they never forget. “I love you.”

  6. “That’s what she said.” Wait… you’re done? You can’t be done. You couldn’t think of a better way to finish? It can’t be that hard…

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Gratitudes 2018, Day 33

It’s Monday, but I was pooped last night—I’m glad I looked over what I wrote initially because I found four mistakes right away (spelling, grammar, a completely different word… ugh…). But now that I’m more awake and alert, today’s list of gratitudes is the slightly-belated Weekend Errand Edition!

  1. Rock star parking. The picture above wasn’t taken this weekend, but I think it helps signify how awesome rock star parking is. Instead of having to circle the parking lot over and over, you find an open spot right in front of the store. Saves time and frustration and leads to much gratitude as a result.

  2. Being able to reach the top shelf. Some tall people might find it annoying, but I can’t help smiling when I hear someone next to me in the aisle say, “Excuse me, could you reach that item up there for me, please?”

  3. Frozen vegetables. Good, good for you and you can use a bag as a makeshift ice pack for an injured thumb.

  4. Sparkling water. It’s more expensive than getting it straight from the tap, but it’s available in more than just “water” flavor.

  5. Target’s Cartwheel app. “This item is on sale? Well, you get another 10% off just for scanning the barcode! And as an added bonus, we can track your shopping trends and we’ll know if you’re pregnant before your dad does!”

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Gratitudes 2018, Day 32

  1. Pedicures. Yeah, that’s right, I said “pedicures.” Because they make my toenails look spiffy. (Not colorful—Teresa says I’m not allowed to get toenail polish—but they still look spiffy.)

  2. The camera on my phone. Don’t believe me about pedicures? Meet my fuzzy legs, oddly-tanned foot from wearing sandals and the pedicurist.

  3. Birdseed. Technically, we get two kinds: thistle seeds and sunflower seeds. We’re less concerned about the kind of seeds and more concerned about birds eating them and flying away with satisfied avian tummies.

  4. Tape. When pulling the bag of thistle seeds up out of the shopping cart so the cashier could scan the bar code, some sharp edges in the cart gouged holes in the bag. Not really big holes, but the thistle seeds were smaller then the holes, so I had to carry the bag carefully on its side over to customer service so they could do a little first aid and patch it up.

  5. The customer service lady at Menards. I’m grateful that her taping skills saved us from losing a lot of thistle seeds.